| EXCERPT:
There was just something about her that drew me in. Her innocence yet fiery attitude, her natural beauty yet sexy demeanour. Her fragility.
“I’m damaged,” she murmured.
Hearing her write herself off like that tore me apart, so I kissed the top of her head to try and give her comfort. “We all are, to an extent.”
“I’m a waste of time, Lawson. I can’t give you what you want.”
“You don’t know what I want. And you are far from a waste of anything.”
She pulled back and stared at me, her red-rimmed eyes heavy with sadness. “You’ll regret it, and you’ll get bored.”
“I doubt that,” I said, desperate to kiss her again and take away her anguish. But it didn’t take a rocket scientist to know that now was not the time. Yes, she needed gentle pushing, but it was also clear that she needed to trust. She needed to know that I was there to help her, above all else.
Stella sighed and snuggled into my side. “We’ll see.”
“We will.”
“Don’t hold your breath. What you see is what you get.”
“I don’t believe that for a second. There’s so much more to you than what you
let on.”
She went to pull away, but I held her tight, her warm body fitting perfectly against mine.
“I’m telling you, Lawson, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. I’m not one you should get involved with.”
Listening to her doubt herself was hurting my head, so I changed the subject. “I heard you sing before. Your voice is beautiful. You really should embrace it.”
“Yeah?” she scoffed. “Well, that wasn’t singing. It was humming. There’s a difference.”
I shuffled down the bed and pulled her with me so that I was lying on my back with her head on my chest. “Why did you stop?”
She shot up to a sitting position beside me. “Lawson, I can’t do this ... with you ... here. I’m ... I’m not ready.”
“Princess, we’re just lying down and talking. That’s it.”
Stella paused, letting her eyes wander over my relaxed posture. I could tell she was apprehensive, but it was the slight blushing of her cheeks and the small peaks forming under her pyjama top that led me to believe she was also keen.
Noticing me staring, she quickly covered her chest and crossed her arms over one another.
I laughed and pulled her down to lie beside me again. “Come here. I told you, I’m not a sick pervert. Just relax and talk to me.”
“About what?” she grumbled.
“About singing. Why did you stop?”
Sighing, she made herself comfortable and rested her hand on my abdomen. “It wasn’t a choice, really. I just stopped.”
“Do you love singing?”
“Yes.”
“Then just start again.”
“It’s not that easy. Music has a way of infiltrating your soul. It becomes a part of you. You have to feel it and breathe it to convey it properly. I’m just not feeling it anymore.”
“I get that, but eventually you will feel it again. You just have to open your mouth and let the words tumble out. You can’t run without first walking.”
Honestly, I had no idea where this psychobabble bullshit was coming from. The last thing I was qualified to do was dish out advice on moving forward. Yet, I knew the only way to move forward was to stop going back.
“I just don’t think I can,” she said quietly, tracing her finger over my t-shirt covered abs, an action I’m certain she didn’t know she was consciously doing. “I’ve tried. I open my mouth, but the words evade me.”
“Don’t put too much emphasis on it.” I chuckled.
“Fuck, listen to me, sounding like I know what the fuck I’m talking about.”
Stella giggled and tilted her head to look up at me. “Yeah, you really don’t know shit, do you?”
My body tensed and my pulse quickened, the urge to refrain from lifting her on top of me almost unbearable. “I do know some shit,” I said, lifting a finger and trailing it down her cheek. “I know that you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. And I know that if I don’t get the fuck out of this room right now, I might continue where we left off earlier. I also know that after tonight, you are not ready for that. Baby steps, Princess.” I rolled over, flipping her onto her back and holding my weight above her. “I will tell you this, though … when you are ready, watch out. I’m coming for you. And when I do, you won’t know what hit you.” Activating the muscles in my arms and shoulders, I lowered and pressed a swift kiss to her lips before getting to my feet and walking out of her room like the responsible that I was.
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